Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! While some only focus on the details of the wedding day, you are focusing on setting your marriage up for a lifetime of success! Amazing!
Whether you are:
-newly married, this is for you!
Premarital Counselling is the most important thing you can do as you prepare for your wedding day. Please check out Melissa's September 15, 2015 blog post that outlines the reasons why premarital counselling is so important.
While it is ideal to do premarital counselling at least 3-6 months before the wedding date, it can be done at any time, even after the wedding! This work can also be done during pre-engagement. Research has proven that premarital counselling helps to reduce the divorce rate.
Our premarital program includes each person individually taking the on-line Prep-Enrich Inventory, SYMBIS, or Gottman Connect and then meeting together to review the results over several sessions. At the end, you and your partner receive a Certificate of Completion. After this, annual check-ups are highly recommended.
The Prep-Enrich inventory is a well known, highly valid and reliable confidential on-line questionnaire.
SYMBIS is another premarital tool that couples have found very useful, with optional books that accompany this program, called "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Les and Leslie Parrott.
The Gottman Connect inventory is very thorough and is based on over 40 years of John Gottman's relationship research. Melissa is also trained in the Gottman Method and am a "7 Principles for Making Marriage Work" Leader (for information on workshops and retreats on this, see our Services page).
As you book your initial appointment, please let us know which questionnaire you would like to use. We would then send you each a link to complete it. To complete the on-line questionnaire, there is a cost of approximately $40USD investment that is paid directly to the respective institute. The results of the questionnaire would be discussed during our sessions together, and you would get a copy of the Couple Report.
Using the results of any of these inventories, we can quickly assess couple compatibility and personality in session, saving you time and money in the long-term. With any of these tools, we identify your couple strengths and areas of growth, and use activities and discussions to improve the areas of growth. We would usually cover topics such as: communication, conflict resolution, children, religion, finances, stress, family of origin/in-laws, marital expectations, chores, leisure, habits, personality differences, roles, relationship dynamics, mental wellness, etc.
Premarital counseling can help you and your significant other improve your relationship by helping you develop better communication skills, learn conflict management, uncover your shared core values as well as identify and manage differences that could create future conflict. Working with us, you can discuss expectations with your partner that will help better prepare both of you for marriage.
So if these sound like you…
- You and your partner have arguments that don't get resolved
- You feel like you're always the one who has to compromise to keep the peace
- You're concerned about how your partner's financial situation will affect you as a married couple
- You're worried about losing affection or having a diminished sex life after marriage
- You want to find healthier ways to manage conflict
- You want to resolve religious or financial differences
- You want to define your marital roles and expectations
- You're facing issues with future in-laws
- You want to successfully blend your families
. . . Then premarital counseling can be a great benefit to both you and your partner.
The intimate nature of marriage requires that you talk to your partner about everything, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable. Premarital counseling will help you learn how to be a better listener, and how to make your voice and your needs be heard in a productive and positive manner.
Premarital counseling will also show you how to handle conflict in your marriage. When you live with someone, you will have arguments ranging from the very mundane to more serious issues. How you argue will be a part of the story of how you are as a couple. Learn how to de-escalate arguments and how to fight fairly, so you don't cause emotional pain from things you said that you'll never be able to take back.
In pre-marital counseling, we will likely bring up topics that you've discussed with your partner previously, as well as subjects you hadn't considered before. This fresh perspective from an objective third party will uncover new details from your partner. This is also an excellent time for us to find unexpected areas where you disagree, and give you the tools to handle possible future conflict.
Getting married is one of life's most treasured experiences. Premarital counseling can help you and your partner turn that momentous occasion into a loving, lasting relationship. For guidance and support to strengthen your future marriage, please contact us today so we can schedule an appointment.